I was able to get two way syncronising working between iCal and my google calendar!! Using this tutorial:
http://www.google.com/support/calendar/bin/answer.py?answer=99357
Then I was able to sync my iPhone with iCal. The only problem is that I can't add events to the google calendar from the calendar application on the iPhone. To do this, I have to use the google calendar web interface. Bugger......
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